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This is an air conditioned room -- do not open Windows!
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From: Jay Posted: 5/15/2004 8:14:38 PM | Options | #001
9: Legend
Bugs come in through open Windows.

The word "Windows" is a word out of an old dialect of the Apaches. It means: "White man staring through glass-screen onto an hourglass..."

Windows XP - Insert wallet into Drive A: and press any key to empty.

Microsoft: Re-inventing square wheels

If I wanted Windows, I'd live in a greenhouse!

Q: What does the CE in Windows CE stand for?
A: Caveat Emptor.

I'm not a programmer, but I play one at Microsoft.

...A Microsoft spokesperson said, "while fighting software piracy is good for our business, highway robbery is our business."

In a world without fences, who needs Gates?

Q: What do you call 50 Microsoft products at the bottom of the ocean?
A: A darned good start.

If Bill Gates had a nickel for every time Windows crashed... Oh wait, he does!

Microsoft: You've got questions. We've got a dancing paperclip.

I still miss Windows, but my aim is getting better.

The relative speed of a computer, regardless of CPU architecture, is inversely proportional to the number of Microsoft products installed.

Failure is not an option -- it comes bundled with Windows.

Q: How many Internet Explorer programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. Their light bulbs are integrated into the fixtures and cannot be changed.

New screensaver released: Curtains for Windows.

Microsoft should switch to the vacuum cleaner business where people actually want products that suck.

Q: Does Bill Gates use public domain software?
A: Yes, as all of the public has become Bill's domain.

A fool and his money are soon using Windows.

When you say "I wrote a program that crashed Windows", people just stare at you blankly and say "Hey, I got those with the system, *for free*".
-- Linus Torvalds

It is not too late to turn back from the GATES of hell.

It's spelled Linux, but it's pronounced "Not Windows".
It's spelled Windows, but it's pronounced "AIEEEEEEE"

If at first you don't succeed, you must be using Windows.

You have to admit that Microsoft products provide a quality unmatched by any other company. That is why I am switching to 100% pure shredded Microsoft certificates of authenticity in my hamster's cage.

"Microsoft technology" -- isn't that an oxymoron?

Q: How many Bill Gateses does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One. He puts the bulb in and lets the world revolve around him.

Why use Windows, since there is a door?

Microsoft is to software as McDonald's is to fine cuisine.

Now if Microsoft Bob has taught us anything, Microsoft is not a company that should be innovating. When they do, they don't come up with things like "better security" or "stability", they come back with "talking paperclips", and "throw in every usless feature we can think of, memory footprint be damned".

</propaganda (fux u onion)>
From: duckduckduck Posted: 5/15/2004 9:42:50 PM | Options | #002
11: Icon
You're slacking Jay, I only chuckled at a couple of those. You need inspiration! I suggest finding and installing that Windows theme for KDE you were confident must be out there.
This is... odd, but I'll put it in just to see what happens ~ Jay
From: Jay Posted: 5/15/2004 9:52:43 PM | Options | #003
9: Legend


(18:36:25) Anthoneyy: u liek my epsnsin
From: Jay Posted: 5/15/2004 9:54:32 PM | Options | #004
9: Legend