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Spinoff nostalgia: Vol. 4: Misc. Shiat
From:
Hi. Im new here and this my first post so Im very nervous&.


I need help and I dont have anyone I can talk to&

I guess a little information would help. Im 17, a senior in a public high school. Im not into any clubs cept I play Volleyball sometimes. Im not any good though.

On with the story.. me and some of my girlfriends and a few of their boyfriends where eating lunch in the cafeteria when somehow the conversation shifted (you know how that is) from shopping to sex. And how my friend (Ill call her Liz) and her bf (Ill call him Andy) and the other couple (Ill call them Stacy and Eric) were talking about all these places they had sex at how Stacy and Eric actually did it anally. OMG how icky!

Anyway, they started asking everyone else at the table how far theyd gone with a guy. I cant believe this next part. Theyve all had sex! Even my friend Christie, who said shes never gone all the way with a guy. At least thats what she told me. She told me shes only given head. Whod she lie to? Me? Why? Why would she have to hide that from me? I cant believe shed lie to me like that. Or them? To protect her pride and not make herself seem like a loser. Either way, its not right.

When its my turn, what did I do? I tried to ignore them and pretend I didnt hear the question. So they started teasing me and assuming Id never had sex. Which is true, but I just didnt want them to know that. So they kept going on saying that Id probably never even gone down on a guy (which is also true). All Ive ever done was French kissed a guy. But that was just one time, and I didnt like it. Thats why it was a one-time thing. OMG at least they didnt start calling me a dyke. Cause I have kissed a girl on the lips before. But it was a Dare on sleepover and I was only 16! Im not telling them that though.

After a few minutes of them harassing me, I almost started to cry. Well, I did cry, but I ran to the bathroom first. I was so embarrassed. Like OMG you wouldnt believe. After that, I kinda avoided everyone for the rest of the day. I did kinda think people were watching me and pointing and laughing when I wasnt looking. Since then, 3 days later, I havent talked to any of my friends from school. Its a weekend and Ive been busy helping my Mom bake Christmas cookies&

Id call Christie, but Im too scared. I dont know what to say to her. I want to confront her, but Ive already lost a really close friend that way. Maybe I should just go have sex. It cant be that bad, can it? I mean, I know its supposed to hurt a little the first time. But I just dont want everyone to make fun of me again. But I want my first time to be special& Or I could just lie and say that I was afraid of telling everyone who I had sex with. OMG I just dont know what to do!

---
PMS for guys. Penis Muscle Stiffy.
Because it won't go down.
From:
I played the Sims and like it. Hey, at least I admit it. Unless some of you pussies who won't admit it just because your 15 year old sister also plays it.

Originally, I played The Sims to see why it's supposed to be the greatest selling video game of all time. So I play-tested it and decided it was kind of fun. After a several hours of establishing my house and such, people started coming over. Note: My default house has two women roommates, one white and one black. Back to story... I can't remember the name of the first guy to come over, but I do remember that I screwed up the relationship (between him and the black roommate) by attempting to make them kiss and stuff too soon. It was too awkward so I made him go home. Now I had this whole day of time to kill (because I was just starting out, neither roommate was employed). So I have them build up a relationship. Somehow, this time it worked better because I had them up in the high 80s (relationship wise) by the end of the night.

And that's when my perverted gears started turning. I'm thinking, 'hey, it'd be cool as shit if I could take their friendship to the next level'. So I blow off anyone that came by and focused on their interpersonal relationship.
By midday, they're hugging. Not that pat-on-the-back shit. I'm taking about the groping hug. Awwww yeah. I do it again. I'm about to try it a third time when the 'kiss' option pops up. So they kiss on the lips. No tongue. But hey, it's a start. I'm like 'Holy shit! I made lesbians!' I'm thinking that this is the greatest thing ever.

So I keep building on their interactions by making them dance fast first, then slow. They stop to relax, in front of the TV. I make them sit right next to each other. Oh, and I have it on the Romantic channel. Hehehe. After a while they're feeling loose and emotional. So I have them interact some more. More groping. I mean hugging. Some massaging. Then they kiss. A French Kiss! Hell, Yes! Tongue, Action! Hand-On-Ass. Double YES! (And yes, I had a boner). I thought I made the greatest discovery here. Lesbians in a video game. Lesbians that I made. You can't really see them kissing. But you can picture what's happening. Because after playing the game for so many hours you start to give your characters personalities. I could feel the emotional bond between the characters, now lesbian lovers. Interracial lesbian lovers. Then I made them go to bed together. Oh happy days...

I may have messed up some of the details, but for the most part, True Story.

Damn. I think I just resold myself on the game...

---
PMS for guys. Penis Muscle Stiffy.
Because it won't go down.
From:
Old enough to pee. Old enough for me.

Old enough to crawl. I'll stick in her jaw.

Too young for the pill. I'll still give her a thrill.

Too young to say 'no'. I'll still make her blow.

Not old enough to strut. I'll stick it in her butt.

Not old enough for pubes. I'll neglect to use lube.

Still on the bottle feed. I'll give her my love seed.

---
PMS for guys. Penis Muscle Stiffy.
Because it won't go down.
From:
[This message was deleted at the request of the original poster]
From:
I hate some types of boards let you put pictures in your sig. Like many fansite message boards. Every other simpleton seems to abuse this privilege. Every single fucking one of their posts has 2, 3, sometimes 6 pictures taking up over half of your screen. And they post in the same thread...correction, every thread multiple times.

Because it's usually a fansite, it's always pictures about that band, or that actor. Since you're a fan (and an ignorant one at that) you've probably already seen those pictures. Hell, sometimes they're even the ones posted on the site, usually under the Gallery link. Check it out you stupid fuckers. Oh wait, you already have. That's where you got your pictures from. From the same site as the message boards. Retard.

Aside from the fact that their taking up needless space with pictures that everyone has already seen, they have the nerve to post 'lol'. That's it. Just lol and their 3 page signature. Nothing else.
Oh wait, there is something else. Quoted text, the same quoted text that's in every. single. post. We've heard it. You don't need it. Take it out, dipshit.


So here's what he have so far:

A huge paragraph of quoted text.

A one-line reply. Sometimes a one word reply. Or just 'LOL'.

2 or more pictures that can take anywhere up to several pages.

Quotes. Usually from the band/actor of the fansite.

= a shitload of ignorance.

Sorting through that crap for relative information is harder than finding an honest girl in Cincinnati. It becomes a fucking wordsearch. If you can cut down all of the bullshit and meaningless information, you may actually find something worth while. And if you did cut off all that needless crap, you'd have one page left.

At least when I blow my load on topics, I try to be creative about it.

---
PMS for guys. Penis Muscle Stiffy.
Because it won't go down.
From:
Let me tell you a little story
bout a man named Frank.
Took it in the ass
by his older brother Hank.
He was hurt at first,
but then he didnt mind.
When his dad stepped in
and rammed him from behind.
ANAL that is.
Ass Reaming.
Pig Squealing.

---
PMS for guys. Penis Muscle Stiffy.
Because it won't go down.
From:
Canadian Crazy went to a special store.
With three-fifty, he bought himself a whore.
A fine young lady in a red leather skirt.
Her shits on tight. Tight enough to hurt.

To a back alley he drove the young lass,
Lusting and knowing that'd he tap that ass.
They walked down and stopped behind a dumpster.
With that one goal in mind. "I'm gonna hump her."

"Alright, I'll go first. Starting with my pants.
Then take down yours, so we can do the Nasty Dance."
He took off his pants and whipped out his wong,
She pulled up her dress and out popped a dong.

"What in the Hell?! What have you done?!"
"I'm betting you're kinky. I just want some fun.
Plus, this is the cheapest meat that money can buy.
Now bend over, so I can make you cry."

"Oh dear God! Get away you freak!"
Then she reached over and pulled on his meat.
In paralyzing fear, CC was stuck in his place.
While the dick-chick moved to second base.

Before he realized what was occurring
He was firing his spit wad all over for certain.
He blinked a few times, still in shock.
"I just let a transvestite touch my cock."

A sickening thought occurred to CC,
He liked the handjob and was smiling with glee.
The next thing he knew, he was bending over,
To give Ms.Dick the go to take over.

It was a good night for both indeed.
Hours of showering with each others seeds.
He finally passed out, after screwing 'til dawn.
But when he awoke that afternoon, she was long gone.

---
PMS for guys. Penis Muscle Stiffy.
Because it won't go down.
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