|A-Z: Reasons why Windows is better than Linux|
|a) Internet Explorer, a FREE WEB BROWSER!
b) That cool hilltop background
c) Shiny buttons
d) Software that costs money must be excellent
e) Friendly paper clips assist you everywhere
f) Everything about your system is kept secret so hackers won't get it
g) Virus protection; Microsoft is working hard to ensure that you are safe from viruses at least 6 months after they start causing damage
h) Free technical support, only 4 hours of wait time
i) New technology that is only available on Windows so hackers can't use it to destroy your computer
j) Simplicity; everything on your hard drive is stored in a giant 6gb tree inside ONE FOLDER!
k) Built in applications for everything you could need, including a CALCULATOR
l) Really cool games like Minesweeper, an action-packed experience where you must guide your valiant soldier through a dangerous minefield without getting blown to pieces, sure to leave your heart pounding for hours
m) Umm... shiny buttons
n) Windows media player automatically sends all your music files back to microsoft so they can assure that none of it is pirated music put there by evil hackers
o) Windows media player also has very many shiny buttons
p) Brand new internet security technology, including the ability to "disable connections" to keep out hackers
q) Free AOL service (60000 hours!)
r) No confusing "terminals" or "compiling", all you need to do is click your start button and wait 10 minutes for windows to free enough ram to draw your start menu
s) Your start menu will be filled with some more awesome shiny buttons
t) The revolutionary "clock" feature can automatically tell you what time it is any time you look at it
u) Backed by a multi-million dollar company, which means that they will always be able to spend more money to make sure your operating system has... many more shiny buttons
v) Now comes with "Blast Processing" to make your system faster
w) When something goes wrong, windows will automatically send an error report along with a copy of all your files and personal information back to microsoft so they can fix it and add more shiny buttons
x) "Search for files" makes sure you never lose anything on your hard drive
y) You never have to worry about ruining your system because the brand new version of windows doesn't even let you write to your own hard drive!
z) Microsoft loves you... buy Windows 2038436 XXXP Super Radical Edition today
$1699 suggested retail price
|XD that's great.
<^> ^_^ <^>